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BODHISATTVAS & EXORCISTS

August 5, 2009 8 comments

I know a lot of bodhisattvas. When I first realized they were bodhisattvas, I thought: My spiritual shopping days are over! For the past three years I now meditate and attend weekend retreats to learn what these bodhisattvas are made of, and how I can become one, too. I notice when you have an intention like that, all kinds of opportunities get activated.

“Vinegar killed Jesus,” a man told me at Whole Foods as I fiddled through the seasonings. “They put it in his wounds when they hung him on the cross.”

Even Bragg’s apple cider vinegar? The one with all the biblical sayings on the label?

It was ALL vinegar! But I stopped listening, cause I tend to shut down when things get aggressive.

When you take the vow to become a bodhisattva, you’re basically asserting you’re not afraid if other people criticize your food, poop on your face or sink your dinghies — you become the active property of other sentient beings and get no privacy. Everyone else gets to be enlightened first and you’re willing to take total responsibility for that.

Raymon Grace is a bodhisattva, in my dictionary. He loves helping people, and is determined to get people to stop being docile victims and make the world a better place to live. He spent a whole weekend trying to teach us everything he knows– cram-teaching two weeks of shamanism, cleaning up all our family issues, the negative energetic patterning in our homes, wells, businesses, schools, bodies and minds. He can even go back in time and change events in the past. He gets thousands of letters from people thanking him for miracle healings when nothing else worked. I don’t care if someone reading this is snickering. Actually, I do care, but since I’m a bodhisattva-in-training, I’m saying I don’t so I can feel empowered.

The main thing I learned is how important it is to think loving, positive thoughts. Energy follows thought. Thought gets impressed unto matter, that’s how you get haunted houses, or can feel someone’s vibes off their clothes and jewelry. It’s why someone paid $107,000 for Elvis’ red jumpsuit— it was like buying a piece of the King himself. The universe will conform to fit your belief system. If vinegar killed Jesus, no wonder that fellow tried to discourage me from drinking it.

The other thing I learned was something Raymon always says: “If you do nothing, nothing will happen. If you do something, something might happen.” When his pendulum (a simple bullet on a chain) gives the OK signal, Raymon’s phrase is: “Let’s do it.” I like that approach.

So I got busy. I worked on a friend’s foot, my father’s energy field and karmic influences, my water lines, my neighborhood, a Starbucks lady’s attitude, another friend’s possessed house, and myself of course. Since I’m just a beginner and still practicing, I can accept that I’m not always going to get instant results. But I’m encouraged when the tap water starts tasting like Evian! And the grumpy Starbucks lady…? Ten minutes after I visualized two butterflies on her heart, she hopped and skipped in front of me, in a very random way, this little dance!

Then my friend Casey came to the house and my cat Rubin clawed at and tried to bite him. Rubin NEVER acted this aggressive in all the six years I’ve known him. Ask anyone. He’s like the Jerry Garcia of cats. This time, he had crazy eyes. He twitched and scratched himself vigorously. He bit my leg for no reason. I had a new CD playing, and changed it.

“Maybe it’s the chair,” Casey said. “We got to get him off the chair.” But we were both too nervous to pick him up.

“It’s like he’s possessed,” I said.

Casey started chanting Om mani padme hum into Rubin’s face. Not willing to be outdone by a mantra, I got out my pendulum. I spun it furiously, asking my guides to move and lock up the demons to another dimension where they would be rendered harmless to themselves and others.

It was taking a long time. Raymon spins his pendulum for about a minute, and you can feel and see an instant change. One woman was able to eat fish again after a near fatal allergy kept her away from fish for 25 years. If Raymon were here, he’d know what to do.

Rubin’s tail kept flicking with agitation. Still got the stay-off! vibe.

Finally, I said, “Maybe his automatic dispenser didn’t put out food. Maybe he’s hungry.”

So I called Rubin into the kitchen and gave him some treats. He ate off my hand, which was a good sign. I grabbed a couple handfuls of food into his dish, and he ate with great concentration.

After that, he was back to his mellow self. Sometimes people complicate things much more than necessary.

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August 5, 2009 1 comment

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